I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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