It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
