I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I supernannyed him into submission
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
