Kiss
Puke
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
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she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
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Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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