Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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