He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
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well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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