wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
