We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
