So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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