We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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