you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
