i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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