if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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