Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
