From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
