Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
