Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
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Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
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Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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