check it out our google latitudes are spooning
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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