So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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