he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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