I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
