I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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