I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
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Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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