drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize