there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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