I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
