literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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