Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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