Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
