whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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