were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize