Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
