You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
