Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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