Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
