I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
