I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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