i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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