Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.

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(269): View more from Michigan

My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Are you high?

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(510): View more from California

Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.

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(214): View more from Texas

I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship

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(417): View more from Missouri

I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.

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(917): View more from New York City

I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.

(323): View more from California

After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.

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