could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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