Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
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Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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