Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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