Whod you bang
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
