Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
grandma shit on top of the toilet
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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