defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
