i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize