So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY