fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that