Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
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Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god