hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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