Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.

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(443): Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check. http://tfl.nu/gtrd

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.

(503): View more from Oregon

I am not joking.

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(503): I just pulled a feather out of my vagina. (503): I am not joking. http://tfl.nu/l5ol

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(416): View more from Ontario

is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??

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(416): is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered?? http://tfl.nu/9big

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

video games are the ultimate cock blocker

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(781): video games are the ultimate cock blocker http://tfl.nu/a2qu

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(847): View more from Illinois

after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."

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(847): after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit." http://tfl.nu/sc5b

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(443): View more from Maryland

do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?

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(443): do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them? http://tfl.nu/br07

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(318): View more from Louisiana

i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..

(1-318): View more from Louisiana

what?how do you know?

(318): View more from Louisiana

it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.

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(318): i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday.. (1-318): what?how do you know? (318): it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet. http://tfl.nu/gg1h

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.

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(814): he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard. http://tfl.nu/0fj9

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(775): View more from Nevada

How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy

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(775): How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy http://tfl.nu/hobw

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(510): View more from California

Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.

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(510): Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior. http://tfl.nu/2r56

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.

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(414): Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course. http://tfl.nu/ipu8

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(914): View more from New York

He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?

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(914): He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf? http://tfl.nu/eppt

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(260): View more from Indiana

as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...

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(260): as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is... http://tfl.nu/earv

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(775): View more from Nevada

You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal

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(775): You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal http://tfl.nu/airp

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(301): View more from Maryland

The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot

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(301): The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot http://tfl.nu/zrh0

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