If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
