I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
