Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
