Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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