I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
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I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize