D3 body, D1 cock
so that wasnt chicken after all
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
