Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
