you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
