I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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