His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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