So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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