He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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